The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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