Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
whose parrot is this?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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