my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Even my vagina gasped.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You are the jesus of drinking
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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