Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
