I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You were trust falling into bushes
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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