I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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