Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
