he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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