my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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