Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
