She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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