And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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