Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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