I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
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I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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