OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
