is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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