I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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