Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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