C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize