Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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