i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
