What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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