Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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