There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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