i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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