she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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