I wish I could punch you in the face.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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