Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I queefed so loud it echoed.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
