Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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