@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
