ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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