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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  what if I'm pregnant?

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  smusmorshion

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well

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• (527): View more from

  I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.

  (1-527): View more from

  Top night. Top night.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.

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• (619): View more from California

  Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.

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