what if I'm pregnant?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.