Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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