I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
