My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
