worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
