dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
