he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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