She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
