Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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