Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
