i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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