Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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