Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
