dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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