Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize