She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You're like the curious george of whores
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
