just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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