so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
no, he came in my armpit
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
