I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
