Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
