It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
