She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
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Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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