just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize