The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
