..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
