So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
