i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
