are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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