She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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