JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
