Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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