I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize