So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
40s are totally the cure
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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