in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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