kristin has been a bad kristin
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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