would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
