it wasn't lemon gatorade
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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