Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize